Hold Me Closer Taud Dancing

As most music critics will confirm, Elton John's ball-rocking smash hit "Tiny Dancer" was originally crafted as a confession of love to his good friend Taud Dancing. Taud, however, being the uber heterosexual that he is, respectfully rebuffed Sir Elton's advances. Eventually, singing the song became too painful for Mr. John, so he had Bernie Taupin rearrange the lyrics to the more familiar "Tiny Dancer" that we all know today. Below is an excerpt from the original song:

"Tuxedo fellow, soft lips of Jell-O, inspiration for the band
Laser eyed, angel smile, why won't you try it with a man
At the gym, you should have seen him in those tight pants
I want you in me, always in me, Taud Dancing in my hands

And now it feels so near
You standing just over my rear
Just as you turn and walk away
I reach out and you hear me say

Hold me closer Taud Dancing
Take a chance down my Hershey Highway
Lay me down on your egg crate mattress
We're going to have a busy day today!!"